Have you ever sat silently as a coworker talked for 47 of the 50 minutes allotted for a meeting? Have you mentioned an idea only to be ignored or have someone else say it later and get credit? It can be frustrating and disheartening to feel like your voice isn’t heard in the workplace.
And when you’re a woman or minority, speaking up at work can be especially difficult. You might feel like you can’t get a word in edgewise or your ideas and feelings won’t be taken seriously. Or maybe you fear you’d be perpetuating a negative stereotype about a minority group or multiple minority groups you belong to.
Unfortunately, these fears aren’t unwarranted: Research shows that women speak less than men in the workplace, despite the perception they speak more, for example, and that women in leadership positions face negative consequences for being more talkative. So what can you do?
Above all else, “Trust your voice,” says Latesha Byrd, a career and talent development consultant and founder of Career Chasers, a virtual coaching experience for ambitious women of color who want to land their dream jobs and create careers they love. And remember that you have a right to be heard.
To be clear: It’s not your fault that your voice isn’t being heard at work. It isn’t the responsibility of marginalized people to drive societal change or fix the biases of groups with power. This article is about what you can do as an individual to help get your ideas and opinions across and your accomplishments recognized despite those biases and inequities.
Why Are Women and Minorities Less Heard at Work?
Society primes us to think that white men’s presence in an office is the default because, for a long time, it was. Employment discrimination on the basis of sex, race, and other characteristics only became illegal half a century ago with Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. So the biases and prejudices in favor of white men and against women and minorities are baked into our work culture.
As a result, women and minorities may be left out of important conversations. Even when people don’t consciously try to exclude members of minority groups, they are more likely to include colleagues most similar to themselves. And when women and minorities do get “in the room,” there are still “dozens of small, hurtful acts—from not calling on women from all ethnicities and races in meetings to cutting them off while they are speaking—that lead to a culture of exclusion,” says Serena Fong, Vice President of Strategic Engagement at Catalyst, who is an expert in building sustainable, diverse, equitable, and inclusive workplaces.
Women of color in particular face barriers to being heard in the workplace “because society at large and some workplace cultures do not value or respect their contributions or perspectives,” Fong says. Plus, she adds, they may feel they have to “constantly be ‘on guard’ to prepare for potential discrimination or bias.”
Gender, race, and other biases can also affect how women and minorities perceive themselves, says Eloise Eonnet, Muse career coach and founder of Eloquence, which provides workplace communication training. After being consistently excluded, ignored, or dismissed, they may start to lose confidence in themselves—making them afraid to speak up when they do have the chance or causing them to put other people’s voices before their own. And this creates a terrible, self-perpetuating cycle, Byrd says.
Tips to Make Your Voice Heard in the Workplace—No Matter What the Situation
Before we get into advice for specific scenarios, here are some general tips for being heard in the workplace that apply across the board. For all of them, take into account your specific situation and where you work.
Learn to Let Go of Being Liked
When you speak up in the workplace, especially as a woman in a male-dominated department or company, there’s a chance that people will think that you’re not “likable” or agreeable. But “just because you’re liked doesn’t mean that you’re respected,” Byrd says. Women often have a need to be liked, but it’s not going to help you progress in your career or reach your goals if it comes at the expense of sharing your thoughts and opinions.
Know Exactly What You’re Going to Say and When
Whenever possible, plan what you’re going to say and how you’re going to say it ahead of time. Then, rehearse. Speaking your message out loud will help you solidify the words you want to use, and will help you have the confidence to say it out loud again when it counts, Eonnet explains. If you know that what you want to say might get some pushback, prepare for that as well, Byrd says. Think about the likely objections and be ready to respond.
Then, think about the best time to say what you want. Does one of your weekly meetings always have time set aside for people to bring up anything on their minds? Would you prefer to schedule a one-on-one meeting with someone you find easy to talk to?
Think About Your Language
Cut out filtering language and state things plainly, Byrd says. Instead of “I think” or “I feel like,” jump right to your point. Filtering is an automatic reflex to soften what you’re saying, but it can also make you sound less confident. Also do your best to remove filler words such as “like” and “um,” Eonnet says. The more concise your message, the less time you need to hold people’s attention to get your voice heard.
Consider Your Delivery
“Ninety percent of how you are heard is not what you say but how you say it,” Eonnet says. Your physical actions—eye contact, gestures, posture, etc.—and vocal elements such as volume, tone, pacing, and speed affect how people hear your message. For example, if you say something too quietly or with an unsure tone, you might sound like you’re asking for permission, not demanding to be heard. If you’re not sure how you come across, record yourself and play it back, paying attention to each aspect of your delivery, Eonnet says.
Build Strategic Relationships
If there’s a colleague whose input and opinions are always respected and who you’re comfortable sharing your ideas with, it’s worth getting to know them better so they’ll have your back, Byrd says. This could be an ongoing sponsorship-type relationship, or you could ask for support in specific situations, like during meetings or presentations, where you know it’s often difficult for you to be heard.
Look for Places Outside of Work to Build Confidence
It’s also important to find environments outside of work that are supportive, Byrd says. There are groups specifically for helping women and minorities gain confidence in the workplace like Byrd’s Career Chasers, or you might consider working with a career coach one-on-one or looking for other opportunities to practice communication skills and build confidence. Just be aware it’s a process: “Confidence doesn’t come overnight,” Byrd says.